Patterns.

I have a lot going on in life right now. So many changes, and the ones that are coming are good. Really good. It's hard to not always look at the big picture, or to always worry, even though everything is falling perfectly into place.

Right now, I am homeless. My son has lived in a different city every month of his life. It's a crazy season. Don't worry, it was planned.

Hudson is only 3 months old, yet he teaches me so much. In this big worrisome world, he helps me stop. I find myself relearning the simplicity and joy of everyday life. I love watching him explore new things every day.

The bright colored flowers. He talks to them and stares at them for long periods of time.

The sunlight dancing on the wall as it shines through slots on the blinds.

The leaves blowing in the wind. He is discovering the vastness of this awesome creation for the first time.

 I savor our moments together. How my heart couldn't possibly swell anymore when I hug him in my arms.

How I pretend to be irritated when he grips my hair.

Today, Hudson liked my shirt. It was a flower pattern. He loves patterns. He would stare at it and pucker his lips while making cooing sounds.

When I am feeding him, and he looks into my eyes with such expression and talks to me; he grabs my flower patterned shirt because he likes the texture in-between his little fingers and fist.

 He teaches me about these precious moments, to grasp on to them - because they will be gone in a blink. He makes me feel at peace. He makes me feel capable of being a good mom. That I can trust we will be covered in the future. That it's okay we don't have a home right now. To put the big picture on hold. For the first time in my life, I want the clock to stop. I am happy and content in this moment.

No worries, just trust.

That there is always beauty in the details.

 Thank you Hudson for making mommy a better person.

{s}